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Peter Hammill
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The Polaroid
Me holidays on the Southern Sands*
Trying to get some fun by way of one night stands...
I clocked this girl, thought I'd give her the chat -
One of them Swedish blonde types
And I've always fancied that.
I showed her me Polaroid.
She said 'I like it, will you
Please take my picture?'
I say 'Right then', thinking
This is gonna be me lucky day.
She whips off her bikini top
And I think 'OK!'
I say 'It only takes a minute
For this thing to develop.'
She says 'I'd better push off now
Or me feller'll be jealous.'
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Just then I felt a hand on me collar,
And it was a Boy in Blue.
He says 'You can't take nude photographs on this beach,'
And 'I'm arresting you.'
I protested me innocence,
But it was no use, the picture was forming;
He gave me the official warning that day.
He'd seen me Polaroid,
So what could I say?
I looked around, but she'd disappeared,
I say 'You don't understand, this was all her idea!'
But the copper says 'Don't worry son, I get the picture OK.'
He took me Polaroid
And I got ten days.
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