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Original Cast Recording
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The Great American TV Show
THANK YOU ALL FOR TUNIN' IN, YOU MAKE MY RATINGS SOAR
I GOT SOME CHAIR CRASHIN', CAT SCRATCHIN', WHITE TRASHIN' ACTION
AND A HELL OF A WHOLE LOT MORE.
Well, TODAY'S SHOW FOCUSES ON ONE COUPLE'S TRAGEDY FROM COAST-TO-COAST WE GO!
I PROMISE TO MAKE YOUR PROBLEMS LOOK SMALLER IN COMPARISON
AND THAT'S THE POINT OF, THE GREAT AMERICAN TV SHOW.
(spoken)
Today's topic: Strippers on the run who sleep with married men who live in the same trailer park. And the agoraphobic troubled trailer housewives who love them!
Women Ensemble:'ohh'
Betty: On our Panel today we have the married man; Norbert Gaustickey
Woman Ensemble: Asshole
Betty: And his girlfriend slash stripper, Pippy!
Woman #3: Slut
Norbert: Hey!
Woman Ensemble: Asshole
Betty: (sung)
WELL, TELL YOUR STORY DON'T BE SHY, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR
EXCEPT THE 12 MILLION VIEWERS THAT ARE WAITING FOR YOU TO SPILL YOU GUTS UP HERE
MY NURTURING NATURE SHOULD MAKE YOU RELAX. I AM A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL
SO COME ON SWEETS SPIT IT OUT ON MY TV CONFESSIONAL AND THAT MAKES THE GREAT AMERICAN TV SHOW.
THAT PUTS GREAT AMERICAN'S IN THE KNOW.
YOUR SOFA'S ALL THE FURTHER YOU NEED TO GO FOR A DOSE OF DRAMA FROM THE AVERAGE JOE.
IT'S THE GREAT AMERICAN TV SHOW,
WE'RE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM.
POUR SOME JAVA, STIR IN YOUR SWEET AND LOW,
FOR THE GREAT AMERICAN TV SHOW
(spoken)
Before we risk letting our guest-panel say anything dull, let's just go directly to our live studio audience…
Woman #1: I think that girl's quite a shameful hussy throwing herself at a married
man-
Woman #2: -Like a bitch in heat, she's lookin' for meat in any which way she can
Woman Ensemble: And who are you, mister toll collector, some middle-aged Romeo?
Put it back in your pants
there might still be a chance
to get away from that dirty hoe.
You should n'ta, could n'ta, wouldn'ta, ought'n'ta, done it
更多更详尽歌词 在 ※ Mojim.com 魔镜歌词网
You should n'ta, could n'ta, wouldn'ta ought'n'ta, seen that tramp
You should n'ta, could n'ta, wouldn'ta ought'n'ta, done it
In this period of your life she's a major cramp
You should n'ta, could n'ta, wouldn'ta ought'n'ta, done it
It might not be my place to say but you
You shouldn'ta, couldn'ta, wouldn'ta, ought'n'ta,
If'a you hadn't you wouldn'ta be in this mess you're in today!
Pippy
Don't point your finger at me! I'm not the villain, you see,
I'm a woman, just doing what I need.
Woman #1: (spoken) You are a whore.
Pippy
And no law's been broken. The only thing gonna be broken is the ******
Norman (spoken) 'scuse me, I'd like to say something
IN MY DEFENSE,
I'LL SAY MY HOME LIFE'S NOT THE BEST ITS BEEN, A'LATE
WE DON'T LEAVE THE TRAILER
MY WIFE'S GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM
AND THE FOOD REALLY AIN'T THAT GREAT
I CAN COUNT ON ONE FINGER THE AMOUNT'A KISSES
WE'VE SHARED IN THE LAST FIVE YEARS.
IF YOU WERE ME, YOU'D HAVE TO AGREE,
NOW MIGHT BE THE TIME TO CHANGE MY GEARS.
I MISS THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE
I REALLY MISS OUR LITTLE KID
BUT I AIN'T FELT THIS GOOD, IN I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG
AND I WONDER IF I EVER DID.
Betty: (spoken) Ladies and gentlemen, real tears appear today. Real American Tears.
AIN'T THIS JUST THE BEST AMERICAN TV SHOW?!
WE'RE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM!
POUR SOME JAVA, STIR IN YOUR SWEET AND LOW…
All sing seperate lines (depending on role)
GREAT AMERICAN TV---
Betty:---tune in tomorrow when the topic will be, I'm so pleased by my breast implants, I'm gonna have a third!
ALL
TV SHOW!
GREAT AMERICAN TV SHOW!
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