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Kevin Bloody Wilson
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Granddads got a stiffy
Granddads got a Stiffy
The old Bastard lay sprawled on the nursin' home floor
he'd been wankin an' fell out of his chair,
An' as he fell on his guts his colostomy bust
splatterin' muck an guck an shit everywhere,
It was all up the wall on the matron an all,
it was caked on her apron an' hair,
And as we ducked for cover that filthy old bugger just sat there with his cock in his hand.
Ah, it couldn't ave been a worse day cos it was his birthday
with the rellies rallied all round his bed,
Absolutely amazed that he'd actually made another birthday cos he should have been dead,
With all that fuckin' an fightin' that he'd done in his life, he should have been hung years ago,
By any number of blokes whose missus he's poked with that monster he was strokin' there now
Ah, Granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone,
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we'd promised her we'd phone
He's OD'd on Viagra, call Grandmother up on the phone,
Granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone.
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But he just wouldn't stop wankin' so we chucked on a blanket,
so the women and kids couldn't see,
His battered banana hangin' out his pyjamas and the cum stain an' shit on his sheets,
But that filthy old bastard sat cackling laughin', just waving his slug in the air,
And by the look in his eye matron knew it was time,
'EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!'
Cos, Granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone,
Somebody better get nana in quick, we'd promised her we'd phone
Cos Granddads going ballistic, call Grandmother up on the phone,
Granddads got a stiffy, granddads got a bone.
Ah, granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone,
Somebody better get Nana in quick, we'd promised her we'd phone
He's pullin' himself to pieces, call Grandmother up on the phone,
Granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone,
Ah Granddads got a stiffy, Granddads got a bone.
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