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Tales Of The Erogenous Zone

Private Willie, reekin' of cheap cologne;
Disappeared from the base, after takin' out a loan,
We looked in ev'ry corner, under every stone,
Tryin' to figure out where that boy had blown,
Fin'lly got a tip, he'd been seen alone,
Walkin' down the road into the erogenous zone.
(So we gave up and went home...)

At the dinner, Corporal Lillywhite was butterin' a scone,
When someone there accused him of bein' a drone,
His forked tongue flickered, his shifty eyes shone,
He said, 'I'm not guilty, if you want the one prone,
See that man over there? eating chitlins and pone,
He's the one, he's been to the erogenous zone.'

Boys came down with a condition, made 'em all moan,
So they called up the Sergeant, said, 'We wanna pick a bone,
You know we have problems enough of our own,
Now we're havin' to catch grenades someone else has thrown,'
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Turned out the solution was already well known,
It was in, you guessed it,...
(Use your rods and your cones...)

Back on the mainland, the radicals would not condone
Our presence, their historians claimed to have shown,
Just where it was the seeds of discord were sown,
And how all that jungle bush came to be grown,
They traced it all back to where someone had flown,
Their missiles right into the erogenous zone.

When we fin'lly invaded, found a chewed up old crone,
Barkin' out orders on a megaphone,
Mesmerizin' the populace with chants she'd intone,
While she sat makin' plans on a porcelain throne,
For an army of zombies she was tryin to clone,
Another one bites the dust in the erogenous zone.