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Big Money

The Last Man On Earth

A space ship landed on my lawn today
you may find it extremely hard to believe
but it actually did happen
anyway, a door opened, and out came… a woman
wow - she looked like an amazon queen
from an Italian sexploitation flick
I said hi there
you must be tired from a long and exhausting journey
may I interest you in a relaxing game of strip poker?

She said not even if you were the last man
not even if you were a friend of Superman
not even if you were the last man on earth

Not even if you were the last man
not even if you were a friend of Superman
not even if you were the last man on earth

Thank you - she got back into the ship
and took off to a galaxy far far away
I threw myself on the phone and called a publisher
who by the way was… a woman
I said hi there I just met a girl from outer space
so here's the deal
I tell you my story and you turn it into a best-seller
there's big money in this for both of us
so what do you say - lunch?
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She said not even if you were the last man
not even if you were a friend of Superman
not even if you were the last man on earth

Not even if you were the last man
not even if you were a friend of Superman
not even if you were the last man on earth

Then I called my mother who by the way is a woman
I said hi mom I forgot your birthday last week
you know how bury I am these days
anyway, I'm between
platinum albums at the moment
do you think you can spare me a few bucks

She said not even if you were the last man
not even if you were a friend of Superman
not even if you were the last man on earth

Not even if you were the last man
not even if you were a friend of Superman
not even if you were the last man on earth

Not even if you were the last man on earth