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ApologetiX
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None Too Ladylike
(1 Kings 16:30-32, 18:3-19, 19:1-2, 21:1-26, 2 Kings 9:7-22, 9:30-37)
Jezebel hit the wall, she really had a fall
What a happy day for Israel's PTA
She screamed a lot for sure when she fell 20 floors
Finally bit the dust, man
God overthrew her plans
She was into Baal and Asherah
She was gonna be in charge
She was gonna just harass
All the good Israelites at large
She fell, oh, yes indeed
Here's now her eulogy
Look at her savage life
Another desperate housewife
If you're thinking Madonna was wild before Kabbalah
Well there used to be one queen who made her look like Mrs. Clean
Her stupid old husband, he gave her what she wanted
But she killed and often lied
She's none too, none too, none too ladylike
She killed all the prophets she could ever find
Wrecked Israel's idiot kings Ahab and Ahaziah
She mocked God's commands - not a big Leviticus fan
Got the upper hand on the men around who ran the land
Where's the ministers? Made 'em pagan
And she's no mother-type; this isn't Nancy Reagan
When immorality becomes P.C.
What can the righteous do?
Skip town, lay low
'cause that lady's a bloodthirsty piranha
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Ahab was her pawn just
Like Count Dooku in
And Jezebel's like Palpatine
She's ruthless and ice cold
Don't tell us that she's nice, though
Cause she serves the darker side
She's none too, none too, none too ladylike
These hate crimes - they did stop
General Jehu led an assassin's plot
And when she saw he was comin' after her
Her face just dropped, dropped, dropped
And now we're singing cantatas
Happy Rosh Hashana
And it's due to just one thing
That Jezebel is history
The prophet she talked to
He told her she'd be dogfood
'Cause she killed, she ought to die
She's none too ladylike
First Kings 16, you're gonna
Meet her if you wanna
Filled with voodoo, debauchery
Her name lives on in infamy
The truth's in the Bible
She'd love Samaritan Idol
She'd choose Baal and not Bo Bice
She's none too, none too, none too ladylike
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