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Regular Show
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Cool Bikes
Mordecai：Ready for some more cartin'?
Rigby：You know it!
Mordecai and Rigby：Aw, what?
Rigby：Where's the cart? Benson：It's at the shop! After your little excursion yesterday, your cart privileges have officially been revoked!
Mordecai: But these bikes are for little kids!
Benson: Hey, you want to act like kids, this is what you get.
Rigby: But we're not going to look cool riding kids bikes around.
Benson: What?! You want to know what's cool? Doing your job. Respecting park property. You're to work, not be cool!
Mordecai: Well, fine. It doesn't matter if we don't have the cart. We can be cool no matter what. I mean, with some matenince, and some new paint, these bikes will be so cool.
Rigby: Yeah! And then you'll have to admit that we're cool too.
Benson: Heh. Yeah right. The day I admit you're cool is the day I give you back the cart.
Mordecai: But we are cool.
Benson: No you're not.
Mordecai: Okay then, how about this, if you admit that we are cool, then you have to give us the cart back.
Benson: Sounds good to me, because it will never happen.
Rigby: You're wrong! You're all like, 'that'll never happen.'And then we'll get all cool, and then you will be like 'Whoa!' and then we'll be like 'In your face!'
Benson: And I'll be all like-- (turns red) get back to work!! Rigby: Dude, we can totally get Benson to admit we're cool.
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Mordecai: Yeah dude.
Mordecai: Hey Benson, check out our cool new rides.
Rigby: Bet you think we're pretty cool huh.
Benson: What? How many times do I have to tell you two you are not cool! Now get back to work! Argh! Muscle Man, Hi Five Ghost and two women pull up next to Mordecai and Rigby on the golf cart]
Woman: Muscle Man, what are those things?
Muscle Man: Those are losers, baby. You don't want nothin' to do with those.
Muscle Man: Later grandmas!
Mordecai: Dude, it's time to do some shopping.
Muscle Man: Hey dorkwads!
Muscle Man: Huh? (in awe) Woah, you guys actually look kinda cool.
Rigby: That's unexpected!
Mordecai: Woah, thanks bro!
[and Skips come into the scene, everyone murmurs in excitement. Benson walks up to them]
Benson: Hey, quit murmuring excitedly! These two are not cool.
Rigby: Dude, Benson, just admit it.
Benson: You'll never be cool no matter how many trendy clothes you wear.
Mordecai: You don't know how wrong you are.
Benson: Get back to work, all of you! Argh, I can't believe they're carrying on with all this...
Skips: Come on Benson, you gotta admit they do look pretty cool.
Benson: Yeah right. I don't have to admit anything.
Mordecai: Admit it, Benson.
Benson: No, you're not cool.
Mordecai: How 'bout now, Benson?
Benson: No. When are you guys going to get it through your heads? Nothing you say or do will ever make me admit you're cool.
Mordecai: You know what, Benson? I just realised something. We don't care what you think.
Man: Freeze, you're under arrest.
Mordecai: (exasperatedly) For what?
Man: For being too cool.
Men: Chill out!
Mordecai: Dude, where are we?
Gary: You're in intergalactic cool court, gentlemen. And it's quiet a mess you've gotten yourselves into.
Man: Everybody welcome Judge Broseph Chillaxton!
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Mordecai and Rigby, you are being tried for crimes against coolmanity. Opening statements.
Prosecutor: Dig this, Your Honour. These cats have thrown off the balance of cool in the universe! The concentration of cool is so dense at the park it will implode into a coolness singularity, a black hole in which no coolness can escape. These dudes are too cool! And they must be punished.
Mordecai: Dude, this is crazy!
Rigby: Yeah, we just wanted to be cool enough for Benson to give back the cart!
Gary: Listen, just let me do the talking guys.
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Defense, your statement.
Gary: Your Honour, my opponent is surely mistaken. One only needs to look at my clients to see they're just not that cool. We plead not cool and ask that the charges be dropped.
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Very well, you may call your first witness.
Gary: I would like to call Muscle Man to the stand!
Muscle Man: Wh-wh-where am I?
Gary: Muscle Man, where were you the morning of March 18th?
Muscle Man: I passed those dweebs on their lame bikes.
Gary: Would you say they looked cool?
Muscle Man: No way! They looked like losers.
Gary: Yes precisely, uncool losers! Prosecutor your witness.
Prosecutor: Uh, Mr. Man, where were you only a few days later?
Muscle Man: I don't have to answer that.
Prosecutor: Permission to treat this cat as hostile?
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: I'm cool with that.
Muscle Man: (sweating profusely) I saw them again and admitted they looked pretty cool.
Prosecutor: Ma-ha-han, teleport this fool outta here.
Gary: Yikes.
Das Coolest Employee: Yeah, those dudes are the most uncool dudes ever. At least, that's what I would've said before those dudes beceame the coolest dudes ever. (becoming excited) They brought tons of business into my store. I've got numerical evidence right here! Check it out, son!
Gary: Uh, no further questions. Prosecutor: Please place your hands on this stack of rare Brain Explosion 45s.
Prosecutor: Now do you cats swear?
Mordecai and Rigby: We swear.
Prosecutor: They swear! Ladies and gentlemen, there is nothing cooler than that!
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Dude, nice.
Prosecutor: Thanks, Your Honor!
Rigby: Dude, Gary!
Gary: Objection!
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Overruled!
Prosecutor: Overruled, judge, or is it overcooled?
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: (to the court stenographer) Can you read that back to me?
Court Stenographer: Overruled, judge, or is it overcooled? Prosecutor: Ladies and gentlemen in the audience, take a look at yourselves, go ahead, look. Ironic t-shirts, hat stacking, mesh gloves? These cats started all that! Trend setters can make even the uncoolest things cool. Check exhibit A.
Prosecutor: Yes, these bikes are lame, but I ask you, how did you all get to court today?
Prosecutor: The prosecution rests.
Gary: Well I'm out of ideas. You know anybody who really thinks you guys are uncool?
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: In light of this new evidence and the fact that the prosecution's testimony was pretty awesome, I am prepared to make a ruling.
Gary: Your Honour, I have a surprise witness.
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Huh?
Prosecutor: Objection! Surprise witness' are uncool.
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Just roll with it, bruh. I'll allow it.
Gary: I would like to call Benson to the stand.
Benson: Huh? Wha? Oh, it's you two. What have you gotten yourselves into now?
Gary: Benson, having known the defendants longer than any other witness, you're in a special position to judge the coolness of my clients, are you not?
Benson: Yeah? I guess?
Rigby: I hope this works.
Mordecai: Dude, he'll never admit it. We're home free!
Gary: Benson, are Mordecai and Rigby cool?
Benson: Are those guys cool? Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Benson, this is no joke dude. The fate of the universe hangs in the balance. Answer the question and remember, lying under oath is not cool.
Benson: (defeatedly) Mordecai and Rigby are the coolest guys I know.
Mordecai: Oh no.
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Members of the court, the testimony given to us has proven quite clearly that the defendants are guilty of being too cool. The sentence: death.
Benson: What!?
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Take then away.
Rigby: (whimpering) Please.!
Mordecai: (whimpering) No!
Mordecai and Rigby: What?!
Benson: Get on the bikes, now!
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Not cool, bro!
Benson: Go!
Judge Broseph Chillaxton: Stop them!
Man: Freeze!
Man 1: They're getting away!
Man 2: Stop!
Mordecai: Court is adjourned, losers.
Rigby: Woohoo, we did it!
Mordecai: Dude, Benson, that was so cool of you to help us escape like that.
Rigby: Yeah, so cool man!
Benson: Thanks guys, coming from you that means a lot.
Mordecai: Heyhey, so you admitted we're cool. You're gonna give us the cart back now, right?
Benson: No.
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