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Vices

Wither // Collapse

Every day it starts the same
I see my reflection and nothing has changed
How much longer do I have to last?
I stare at the ceiling and the noise starts
The voice is my own so I have to listen

To every single criticism
Every one of my mistakes
Every moment I'm awake
I'm so tired of being awake

Every night I fall asleep
Willing my spirit to retreat
I don't eat and I don't sleep
My body just endures
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My mind is wondering and my spirit is flailing
This vessel seems eternal
I didn't ask for this
I didn't ask for strength
Please just let me rest

My sense of self-preservation is too strong to wither
But every morning I wake up hoping for a way out
A chance to collapse
And I don't want to endure
And I don't want to persevere
I just want a way out of here