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I Found A Hobby

It started when
a lad of 10
I told my friends
'I'll meet cha,
at Dr. Blood's revenge'
which was
a gruesome
horror feature.
and when I saw
the awesome torture chamber in that flick,
I found I got a hard-on,
while the other kids got sick.

I found a hobby.
I found a hobby.
out in the lobby,
I went insane.

A voice inside me,
said, 'Kid you love it,
I think you're into heavy pain'

By 13 years
I'd taught my peers
about bondage and submission.
gave illustrated lectures on
the Spanish Inquisition.
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Some boys take dirty books to the jon
and give themselves a whack.
I did the same with lithographs,
of thumbscrews and the rack.

At 22
the time came due
to choose a life's profession.
I struggled hard to think of one
in line with mine obsession.
I could have been a boxer
or lawyer, yeah, I guess.
But no one causes suffering
like a licensed DDS.

And now my hobby
ain't just my hobby,
no, its-a my job
to make
the patients shake with fear.
What started out as
a secret pastime
is now my hobby...
and my career.
Say 'Ahh'