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Jamie McPherson
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Doing Serious Time
I was down by the river,
'Neath my willow tree.
Up swaggered the Devil,
And sat down next to me.
I said “Hey there Bob,
It's been quite a time!”
He said “Shut your mouth Jim,
Don't ya spin me no line.
You never called me, buddy,
Didn't even drop me a line.
And now I find you here,
Doin' serious time!”
I said “I'm sorry Bob,
Things are not the same.
I found a good woman,
Who am I to blame.
You just weren't no fun no more,
You took all my time.
And while I was young,
I never did much mind.
But now things have changed,
And I don't mind.
I'm happy sitting here,
Doin' serious time!”
He said “What's your problem boy,
Have you just gone mad?
We're just two lads,
Never were that bad.
I gave you malt whisky,
And Women, oh, so fine!
Our house was a bordello,
A place of pleasure to find.
I gave you all my favours,
Now repay me in kind!
You're just a stupid fool,
For doin' serious time!”
I said “Now just you wait there Bob,
I gave you all I got!
And you just left me there,
Left me there to rot.
You spent all my money,
Didn't leave me a dime.
Left me lying there,
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Swimming in my grime.
Listening to you Bob,
Has been my only crime.
And now I'm happy here,
Doin' serious time!”
“If you had found Jesus,
I wouldn't be so mad.
Hell, half of them are mine,
The other half are bad.
You were a devil of a lad,
A master in his prime.
I left you there to revel,
Revel in your slime.
I had you set up,
You were my partner in crime!
You stabbed me in the back,
By doin' serious time!”
“I didn't mean to hurt ya feelings Bob,
Or hang you out to dry.
But you're a big boy now,
And I'm sure you will get by.
But for the love of my woman,
A mountain I will climb.
Or write a Persian Qasideh,
In reverse order rhyme.
So don't you worry about me ol' Bob,
I'm doin' just fine.
I'm happy sitting here,
Doin' serious time!”
“I see you're quite resolved.” Said Bob,
“I've seen you've made your mind.
Then there's nothing more to say,
But love is truly blind.
It was fun while it lasted,
We both had a good time.
So now I'll have to leave you,
To that woman so sublime.
For whom that bell tolls for love,
In your heart will chime.
So good luck o' pal ol' buddy,
With doin' serious time.”
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