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Family Guy
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Puberty's Gonna Get Me
Chris：Puberty's gonna get me.
No way to stop it now.
I offer a plea, just let me be.
But puberty says 'No how.'
I'm just a ball of pimples and zits
I'm feeling funny inside.
Puberty's gonna get me
And there's nowhere to run or to hide.
Two years ago while my skin was clear
Nothin's the same as it used to be.
Now that I'm growin' I'm watchin' FOX
'Cause I'm too old to watch ABC.
In my pants there's lot of hair
Growing as if to spite me.
My scrotum looks just like a werewolf.
I'm scared that it might try to bite me.
Ohhhhhh...
Puberty's gonna get me
There's nothin' I can do.
There's no one to blame for all my shame
And no one that I can sue.
After I turn from twelve to thirteen
Oh, how I wish I had died.
Puberty's gonna get me
And there's nowhere to run or to hide.
When I was younger I hated girls.
They were too gooshy and soft and cute.
Now when I see one my legs get weak
And my wang makes a Hitler salute.
Once I used to like Sheryl Crow
She was talented and plucky.
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But now that I'm older and wiser
I see that she's just really lucky.
Ohhhhhh...
Puberty's gonna get me.
I'm just completely screwed.
I beg and I say, 'Please go away
And bother some other dude.'
Everyone says, 'Hey, don't be a spaz
Just try to take it in stride.'
Puberty's gonna get me
I can feel it deep down inside.
I'm covered with fuzz
And I'm crying because
There's nowhere to run.
{Applause}
Lois: By the way Peter, do you know what next Friday is?
Peter: Uh, yeah, it's a movie with, uh, Ice Cube and that other guy who looks like Rudy from Fat Albert.
Lois: No, I mean a week from this Friday. Do you know what it is?
Peter: Uh... Donald Rumsfeld takes his annual crap?
Lois: No, I mean it is that too, but it's something else.
Peter: Um, Rosh Ha-Sha-Na-Na? You know when all the Jewish people get together and put on a variety show? Hehehehehehehehe
Lois: No, Peter, it's our anniversary!
Peter: Oh yeah?! Oh, see? This is why I need a Palm Pilot.
Lois: You forgot again, didn't you?
Peter: Maybe. Oh, hey, uh, Lois, you got somethin' in your ear there. Heh, what da, wuh - What is this?
Lois: {gasps} Peter, you got me a ring! Oh, it's beautiful.
Peter: Eh, it's nothin'. I mean they charged me up the ass for it - I had to sell my Richard Marx record collection of my 7th Heaven blooper reel where Stephen Collins says 'Jesus Christ, I just stubbed my Goddamn toe.' Boy, did the WB try to keep that one under wraps!
Lois: Oh...
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