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Broadway Cast
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Those Were The Good Old Days
Whenever I'm from time to time depressed
And a trauma wells and swells
Within my breast
I find some pride deep inside of me
And I fondly walk down the lane of memory
I see Bonaparte
A mean one if ever I've seen one
And Nero fiddlin' thru that lovely blaze
Antoinette, dainty queen, with her quaint guillotine
Ha ha ha ha
Those were the good old days
I see Indians draggin'
An empty covered wagon
When scalping the settlers was the latest craze!
And that glorious morn, Jack the Ripper was born
Ha ha ha ha
Those were the good old days
I'd sit in my rockin' chair so peacefully rockin' there
Counting my blessings by the score
The rack was in fashion, the plagues were my passion
Each day held a new joy in store
Was anybody happy?
I see cannibals munchin' a missionary luncheon
The years may have flown but the memory stays
Like the hopes that were dashed when the stock market crashed
Ha ha ha ha
Those were the good old days
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I'd walk a million miles or more
For some of the gore
Of those good
Old
Days!
I was so contened, when prisons were invented
And the ones with the gallows, set my heart ablaze
I was burning with pride, the day Bonnie met Clyde
Ha ha ha ha
Those were the good old days
I doze by the fireside, dreaming of Cyanide
Never a worry or a care
And how can one measue the infinite pleasure,
Of dreaming of the Electric Chair?
Some people found it shocking
Skip it!
In any aisle I'd lay em, with arson and with Mayhem
It's a heavy routine, but it always plays
And my favorite encore was the Hundred Years War!
Ha ha ha ha
Those were the good old days
I'd gladly sail the Seven Seas, for just one reprise...
Of those good...
Old...
Days!
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