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Cannonball Statman
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Autumn Plum
I'm walkin in the woods
in the English countryside
a few weeks ago
and I'm alone
and I'm lost;
suddenly
I see
a wild turkey
walkin around in the woods with me
and this turkey
has a big red hipster beard,
and I'm like 'whoa! I've never seen a turkey with a hipster beard.'
And there's another turkey
and another one
like ten turkeys
in these woods with me,
and all of them have BIG RED HIPSTER BEARDS,
so I'm like 'I'm gonna take out my phone
and take some pictures of these turkeys
to show my friends in Brooklyn.'
So I take out my phone
and it has this blue case
this weird blue case
and it's not my case
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and it's not my phone
and I'm like 'I guess this is my phone.'
So while I'm taking pictures of these turkeys
these other turkeys
these light blue turkeys
transparent cyan tinted turkeys
with BIG DARK BLUE HIPSTER BEARDS
start appearing
materializing randomly
in these woods
from all directions
hundreds of em
and I'm like
'I've never seen anything like this before;
I've never seen anything.'
And to think, back home
a man walks into a train station
and JUST STARTS FLATLINING
and all the emperors of infancy sit and stare
at everything or something becoming nothing
while sir subway masturbator in the corner
fucks off.
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