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insignificant other



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insignificant other

cigarette

last night I swear I felt you visit me from 400 miles away
your face sticks out to me in a crowd like a crooked tooth that's been pushed out of place
a fucked up smile that marks the only flaw in your perfect face
like the way the only thing that can bring me comfort
is slowly killing me with each passing day

but today is just one of those days
when I can't get you out of my head
and tonight is just one of those freezing nights
when I need you or a cigarette
and I have never smoked a day in my life
but you've been breaking me down from the inside
you are burning and you are blackening my lungs
but it's the only way to stay warm tonight

and this morning
I was passing through
all the places in this town I associate with you
and I hate that I am smiling as cross this street
that means nothing to anyone but me
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and I hate that dream that I had of you last night
that made it more clear than ever that your state borders mine
and the miles between aren't as big as i thought
this should be so easy so why is it not

and this is pathetic
and I am so sick
of fuckin'
waiting up on you
I hate the distance
I hate the way I smile
in my sleep when I dream about you 'and I swear never again will I make time for someone
who can't make time for me'
I just wish that that were true
but at this point I won't be happy if I can't have you

it is the only way to keep the bad thoughts out of my mind
you are a cigarette and you are a filthy habit of mine