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Jack Douglass
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Epic Harry Potter Song
Now it all began
With an orphan boy
Placed on the doorstep of a muggle family
He was awkward and tame
'Til his eleventh birthday
With no idea of the man he'd grow to be
Harry Potter
You little devil
Harry Potter
You're on the level
His childhood sucked
Aunt and uncle kinda scary
'Til Hagrid burst through the door and said
'You're a wizard, Harry'
So he rode to Hogwarts with Hermione and Ron
He learned potions and spells
How to fly and do tricks
Except from Severus Snape because he's kind of a dick
And he can't help but think that something's wrong
You see Voldemort's an evil guy
He's the reason Harry's parents died
In the first two books he tried to finish the job
But forgets that Harry Potter's no slob
He meets Sirius Black who is quite the showman
'Cause he's played in the movies by Gary freaking Oldman
And he's like the father figure he never had
His favourite teacher's a werewolf
But everyone's cool
Except with Severus Snape because he's kind of a tool
But the year ends and hey, things ain't so bad
But the wizarding tournament's the following year
And Harry's picked for reasons that aren't really clear
Cedric Diggory dies in an epic fight
Which is funny 'cause he's played by Edward from Twilight
Voldemort's back and he's better than ever
'Cause he's been working on a thing
That's gonna make him live forever
And it's pretty hard for him to freaking die
To make matters worse, there's a rumble and roar
SPOILER ALERT: SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE
And Harry can't help but stop and whine and cry
Whoa, life can be so tragic
When you're addicted to magic
And you're feeling oh so low
Whoa, I can make you smile
'Cause I know it's been a while
Since you last heard a ukulele solo
Expelliarmus
Aguamenti
Lumos
Imperio
Stupefy
Ridikkulus
Reparo
Incendio
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Wingardium Leviosa
Protego Totalum
Confundo
Crucio
Accio
And Expecto Patronum
So Harry and his friends went on an epic quest
They found a few horcruxes but they needed the rest
And they were well on their way to stop Voldemort
Now Harry, Ron and Hermione
Were well aware of the irony
That the hardest lesson they would face
Would be out of Hogwarts and in a different place
And amidst all the fighting, flying, dying and danger
Ron Weasley made out with Hermione Granger
And Snape wasn't such a bad guy at all
Bellatrix Lestrange was a crazy witch
Until Mrs. Weasley said
'NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!'
And-a, good guys and bad guys alike would fall
Before Voldemort and Harry fought
Potter tried to recall everything he was taught
He thought he saw Dumbledore in his head
So he stared Voldy down, clenched his fist and said
'Hey you!
With the face!
I see you killing and screaming all over the place
And I can't help but think that something's wrong'
'Shut your mouth
Orphan boy
I killed your parents, dude, so don't try to be coy
Or I'll kill you!'
'The scar on my forehead's our only bond'
'And I'll wipe you from this planet with my Elder Wand'
'There's nothing you can do, your powers are harmless'
'AVADA KEDAVRA!'
'EXPELLIARMUS!'
When the fighting was done
And the battle was won
Harry turned and began to walk away
All the wizards said 'Damn
There goes a hell of a man'
And this is forever what they sang
Harry Potter
You little devil
Harry Potter
You're on the level
Harry Potter
The Boy Who Lived.
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