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Laurika Rauch
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My childhood
So my childhood goes on the wings of the silence
Of memory's treason, the true make believe
Winter snow made of diamonds on the window sill
Where I press my chin,
Where I dreamed summer in
So I could play half nude, like an Indian brave
On a pony of gold, never taking a rest
I ride but to save, my warriors, my west
So my childhood goes, in the steam of the car games
I dream of Charlotte Rousse, and other truths
My mother plays Mahjong, my father plays cards,
So distant, so wise,
They look right through my eyes.
So I block off my head, I pretend I'm a bird
That's unseen and unheard, I have not said a word
I might ride a train, it's bed time again
So my childhood goes, with white gloves and bonnets
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Dissolved by my tears until its all gone
How my anger grows how I hold my breath
Against this family
Always ready for death
Always ready for grief, always ready for war
I want so much to dance on the graves that they grow
I would avenge like God, but how would they know
My childhood explodes, scattering all toys
And it smashes through walls, oh, with a beautiful noise
There was the first boy the first boy that I knew
And the first touch of flesh,
It was life, it was love
I wanted to fly, I swear that I flew!
My heart glowed like the sun, the dark days became bright
And then the war began, and here we are tonight
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