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Summer Camp (Wizards & Warriors, Intro)
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Man Damage
No hammer
Y'all ain't ready for this.
Y'all ain't ready.
Dear mom and dad, it's your son from camp.
I'd like to come home. Could you pick me up? (Please)
It's been 5 days but it feels like 20.
Please don't say that we spent the money.
I'll pay you back from my allowance
When I get back if you'll allow it.
Please don't make me stay the whole month
Cause I really don't think I could stand so much.
I don't know who's worse, the kids or the counselors.
On the basketball court, they're bouncers.
Aim a baseball straight for your face.
Volleyball punch it's the spike you taste.
Forget about fencing and horseshoe chucking.
Football and wrestling? You got me chuckling.
I don't even hop the scotch with these kids.
I don't even skip the rocks with these kids.
And as far as the staff? Forget about it.
Graduated camp last year I don't doubt it.
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All past injuries and personal insults.
Dumped on us kids, hurtful results.
Now I know exactly how the French did
Being ruled by a king who was just a kid.
Mommy and daddy nobody's more desperate
Than one under the thumb of a teenage despot.
And worst of all is our spiritual leader
Come from the sect of the touchy feelers
God complex beat the ER surgeon.
Dude more fishy than a barrel of sturgeon.
I'm not even sure of his denomination
But every last sermon's about abominations
Like unwed kids having prom relations
Though he seems to be down with the bombing of nations.
Please I beg you, you've got to come get me.
I'm in trouble with a capital T like Tetley
If I don't escape from Camp Feelgood soon
I'll drink my homemade Jim Town Aid at high noon
It gets worse by the second and they start suspecting.
Simple subjects teach an object lesson.
I'm the odd man out and they're getting even.
I'm trapped in Purgatory and I best be leaving.
Mom, Dad I need you now. Come pick me up. I'm coming home.
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