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Tom Arrow
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Nobody's Fault but Mine
Tell my why you love me, mother,
tell me why we need each other,
why coerce me with a gift
of life that's not allowed to drift away?
I speak with wisdom of a heart that's born to serve,
I speak with horror of an entity existing to preserve
a vanity of homesick parrots looking out to gain
emotions from an aging memory with blind spots on its pain.
Mother, you accuse me of not caring about you;
what can I say besides I'm happy even though a claim is true?
I don't propose to make it up
to you or be a better child;
do what you want to do and let me live my distinct life.
I don't accept a family that argues with a sigh
to make me feel unwell when I don't really feel like to comply.
I am alone, thus, by my choice and don't need handkerchiefs to dry
or any of your pity, it's nobody's fault but mine.
I guess this was the last talk that the two of us will share,
today you finally had the courage to confront that I'm a boor,
that I don't say the things you'd like to hear
far more than what I care.
It started when I didn't let you have a piece of cake;
that is the kind of thing, you said, a truly good friend is to make;
I can well see you are bewitched by my ability to bake,
but I will only let you love me for the things you cannot take.
I do nothing to deserve your very friendship and your tie,
I want my love all for myself so I can't utter it is thy
because a free man does disprize any confession of a lie.
Do keep your sympathy, it's no ones fault but mine.
Say, what was the meaning of your empty looking gaze,
you might not tell me anymore, I know, 'cause I don't heed your blazes,
I acknowledge only strength, I'm not your friend to bear your laze,
I'll hold your hand as long as I see all this worlds joy in your face.
Pal, don't claim to know about a tragedy you see,
it's only borne by your own fantasy and not in me.
I see that to enjoy your sorrow, you must now leave me behind.
There's truly no need to be sorry, it's nobody's fault but mine.
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Your blond hair glared as sunburst and your eyes were blue as vice,
you showed your teeth and corny wisdom,
so you promised paradise.
And under watchful clouds I said with pride and poetry of stars:
There is much truth on earth I can't escape and don't dare to deny.
I want to sleep with you.
And grinningly you turned to go and left me without scars.
I am alone as consequence of being such a kind,
but I am one at least and only
live to satisfy my mind.
And surely I don't need your pity,
it's nobody's fault but mine.
Don't waste time feeling sorry, it's nobody's fault but mine.
As summit of my life
I pick to climb a mountain high
to break the bound'ries of the sky;
on my way down, though, sense so nigh
a dread that I prepare to die
as god in heaven hears my cry.
Son, what futile venture for a single man to try;
this is my holy rock on earth above where any man should hike.
I am the god and I am merciful, so bow and don't defy me,
I will grant you dewy force and lay relief on your spent thighs.
I only want you to accommodate to laws I have compiled,
so you will disappoint me not once more and break my heart affined.
(Son, what futile venture for a single man to try;
this is my holy rock on earth above where any man should hike.
Knee down in humbleness and ask me to grant mercy to your life
and I will contemplate before the sacred judgment is applied.)
'Well, dearest dad, it's my decision and it's none you have to like.
I disregard your holy spectacle in view of horrid plight;
go put your nose into your own mud high above where surely
I don't need your pity, it's nobody's fault but mine.'
And if you think my way awry and my kin dangerously fey,
then that's the one thing that you can not ever take from me away.
My way through natures jungle is not your turn to define;
even if wilderness will kill me, it's nobody's fault but mine.
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