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Tenacious D
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Classical Teacher
作詞:Kyle Gass、JD Ryznar、Jack Black 作曲:Kyle Gass、JD Ryznar、Jack Black
[J:]Hey Kage [K:]Jables [J:]How goes it man? [K:]S'good… s'good [J:]Y'know I been thinking a lot about it, and um, I just want us to be the best fucking band in the world. [K:]Well yeah me too! [J:]There's no point in doing it if we're not the best. [K:]Well s'true. I agree with that. [J:]I mean what, yeah we're gonna be, yeah we're really good. We're like almost as good as Arcade Fire, fuck that. [K:]Yeah [J:]We gotta leave those fuckers in the dust! [K:]What, what do you.. [J:]All those fucking youngsters gotta lick our fucking boot or fuck it! Y'know what I mean? [K:]Yeah! Yeah, well what, how do we do that though? [J:][sigh]Dude you need to fucking have some lessons. [K:]What! [J:]I know, you're really good but you gotta expand your game. [K:]Lessons! [J:]Y'know how Koby in the off season would go and like, learn a fucking, y'know a Texas Two-Step or something, to add to his arsenal? [K:]Man, yeah, that's true. That's true. [J:]Well I've just been noticing some of your classic riffs are a little sloppy. [K:]Really? [J:]And I, I hope you're not pissed off at me but I went ahead and hired a dude. [K:]Yeah? Oh no, what! [J:]Dude, just give it a chance will you? If you don't like- ah hey! I swear, if you don't like it we'll fucking fire his ass. He's out. [K:]Who is this guy? I never… [J:]His name is Felix Char [?] [K:]Urgh, what. [J:]He's from Spain and he is the best. [K:]Oh god… [J:]I got him from the fucking London Phildsarmonic. (Meant to be Philharmonic) [K:]Urgh, I just, I don't know him, it seems weird! [J:]Will you just, will you just spend a minute with him? [K:]OK. Alright. I'll spend a minute with him. [J:]OK bro, he's right outside I'm sending him in. [K:]Oh god, OK. Why? Lessons, so stupid. [F:]Hello? [K:]Uh, hi! [F:]Hello, I am Felix Char. [K:]Hi, uh. Felix? Yeah, um. [F:]Ah, as, Jack as asked me to spend some time with you. Uh. [K:]OK, hm. [F:]One on one. So, while Jack is outside, ah we will work on your technique. [K:]OK. [F:]Can I see you pick up, is this your guitar here? [K:]Yup. Yeah, I gotta it, I gotta it right over here. [F:]Ah, it is a Fender ay? Is this a Fender? [K:]Ah well it's a Gibson. [F:]Yes a Gibson, yes. Made by the same, uh, manufacturer. Pick it up please, can you pick it up? [K:]OK. Yeah. [F:]No, no, no, d-d-d-d-d-d-d bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap-bap! [K:]What? What'd I do? What'd I do? [F:]You pick it up from the neck! This is not the way you pick up a guitar! [K:]I just picked it up, I just- [F:]No,no, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, cállate tu bocar, pick it up from the body. [K:]The what! [F:]The body. [K:]Oh the body! Body, OK. [F:]I'm sorry about my accent. [K:]I didn't know, I didn't know. [F:]Now listen to me. I want you to play, like it is a woman. You go and play the guitar now. Play. [K:]Uh, OK? Uh. [F:]No, no, no, no, no. You, your fingers. Your fingers are too tight. [K:]They're too tight? [F:]Yes, let me get behind you. Like this, you see? [K:]Oh! Hn. [F:]If I put my finger, on your finger. [K:]Hey! [F:]Then you can feel… [K:]I can! Wait! [F:]Sh, sh, sh, sh, shu! Finger to your mouth. I put my finger on your mouth, on your lips. [K:]Mhmhm! [F:]Yes that's good. [K:]Hey man! [F:]Now listen hey, you want to play like an orgasm. [K:]I'm just try- what!? [F:]Feel this. Do you feel that? [K:]Oh god! This is really weird man! [F:]That's my cock. [K:]WHAT! [F:]That's my cock in your butt cheeks. [K:]OH GOD! Hey! [F:]Do you feel it? [K:]NO! [F:]Now I'm going to tough your cock. [K:]OW! [F:]Let me touch your penis. [J:]It's me! [K:]WHAT?! [J:]It's me. It's JB. [K:]GOD! [J:]There's no Felix dude. [K:]What are you doing?! [J:]I'M FUCKING WAKING YOU UP! I'M TRYING TO SHAKE YOUR FOUNDATIONS! [K:]By touching me with your penis?! [J:]YES! By fucking touching your penis! Whatever it takes! [K:]God! [J:]That's all I'm saying dude! I'm making a point! Let's get fucking serious! Let's get physical! Alright. Let's take it from the top.
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