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杨秀卿
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鲤鱼精–3
作词：杨秀卿 储见智
作曲：传统曲调
(啊，走，走欸！)
人人叫我是鳖仙，
我的性情阁真乐天，
啊今为著代志的转变，
哎哟，被贬落来凡间受可怜。
啊！恁逐家三八无？(欸！啥乜咧三八？)
无啦，恁相捌无啦？
逐家叫我是鳖仙啦，
啊我的性情是真乐天啦，
啊好玄啦，
甚乜代志拢欲共看觅一下，因此才会惹出这号无端的事故，被贬下凡，来遮伫咧顾水池啦！啊，实在有影，真正寃枉喔！(欸！啊到底是发生啥乜代志啊？)
Há~！你都毋知咧，我著是天元的神官啦，著是闲闲无代志做，四界行，四界趖啦。忽然间听着水声噒噒喨喨，我想看：“欸！“什么东西啊？””我著共好玄欲共看觅咧。(喔，了解一下)欲共了解一下仔详细。啥人知我都犹未看着，见面予人对颔领着共撸起来矣咯！(是按怎咧？)讲啥乜我啦，偷看仙女洗身躯啦！哎哟，讲“不像样”啦！我害矣！啊！无法度啦。因为按呢乎，讲我这不死鬼啦，看人洗大腿啦！实在喔，才著是咧受亏！(喔！你去偷看人洗身躯喔？)啊哟，无影无迹，讲欲予鬼仔㧻壁。我若甲有看着乎，按呢这著无冤枉矣，著毋？都是无看着半项，无代无志，予人贬落来这个凡间，伫遮顾水池啦。这祥滨水池啊，我这马伫咧掌管，内底大细鱼仔拢是我咧顾的。啊，讲彼嘛无路用，行啦！来去四界巡巡看觅咧。
欸！哇！哪有一个查某囡仔伫遐按呢呛呛叫，到底是啥乜因端？嘑哇！哎哟！我看落去到块，查某囡仔若咧哭乎，我的心肝著按呢搐三下，实在是真毋甘。好！我来共问看觅仔咧。欸！问看到底是为啥乜因端，哪会伫遐咧“这个、那个”啊？嘿嘿嘿，按呢好。
Ènn，“小姐”啊！来我问妳咧，啊妳是创啥代志，到底为著啥情景，看妳按呢伫咧面忧面结，实在真不明啊！妳毋著讲予我听看觅仔，到底为着甚乜款的代志，予妳心内伫咧袂安静？赶紧共我说将情！
“唉！共你讲嘛无路用。你敢有法度通好解决我的事情？”
“嗯，哎！啊妳都犹无讲，妳哪会知影我有法度通解决抑是无法度？抑妳毋著讲看觅咧！啊我毋才会当通好安排。”
“既然如此，你若爱听，著是因为这款的代志啊！听说、容禀来！”
“哦！なるほどか，我知影我知影！嘿嘿嘿！我看觅仔一下……啊，著啦！人咧讲若煞著彼号顶腹盖，啊食饭著袂消化，啊妳毋是啦！”
“啊无，我是按怎？”
“妳这著是这个气血不通顺，啊激伫这个丹田下跤面啦，所致为著这气血无通的关碍，妳挡伫丹田下面，所以这著爱通穴道！”
“唅！若按呢你敢有法度？”
“我试看觅仔咧。先品咧啦，会用的是妳的福气啦乎！啊若袂用的我是无法度唅。”
“按呢好啦。啊无，有劳仙官囉！”
“嘿嘿，免客气啦。我试来欸！……出一下仔大力咧，小共妳运一下仔气咧。嘑！这个气血才会当通敨，予妳按呢变成婀娜多姿，予妳变成一个媠孆孆的查某囡仔官！嘿嘿嘿！”
我鳖仙头壳著伸直，
半壁的磅空紧钻入，
这个鲤鱼仔为著爱伊的身材，刁工激涩涩，
嘑！我著毋通出声，比较较有效力！
嘿嘿！讲甲这个鳖仙实在有影诚手铳，
刁工共这个鱼仔按呢鑢胸前，
鑢来仔鑢去，予鱼仔按呢欲笑仔毋成笑，都咧肉吻笑。
“哎哟！鳖哥啊，人会真擽呢，莫啦！莫按呢耍啦！”
“无囉，我这是共妳拍通穴道，啥乜咧真擽？较注意咧，较注意咧！”
喔哇！这个鳖仙实在诚手铳，
故意共彼个鱼仔鑢胸前，
哇！这个鱼仔鑢落去到块按呢激侺侺，
甚乜侺侺呢？各位朋友，恁若咧拍干乐恁著知乎，彼干乐忽然伫咧遨、伫咧遨，来到遮，就按呢徛起来，“徛侺”，徛侺著是看着讲伊按呢，“哎呀！にいさん、えらいね！”
嘑啊！彼当阵仔乎，心肝是欢喜来畅在心。
鳖仙实在真敖趖，
讲咧鳖尝连吐规十垺，
这个时阵啊，鱼仔精著直直咧共呵咾，
“鳖哥，你确实诚敖喔！”
嘿嘿嘿！这马已经气空力尽囉！
这个鳖仙一个煞软膏膏囉！
更多更详尽歌词 在 ※ Mojim.com 魔镜歌词网
哇！予我变成好体态，
变成这款的身材，
鳖哥仔你实在真厉害！
啊你会记得，阁再来，阁再来！
“欸欸，今今今，无法度矣啦！予我小歇喘一下啦！”
“哎哟，鳖哥啊，毋通阁歇矣，歇落去到块，代志著袂规站矣呢！”
“无囉！我都无法度著是无法度！彼叫做阿轮仙食滚水，讲无法伊就是无法伊矣啦！”
“哎哟，你看咧啦！人遮尔诚好身材，啊变成两支须，对这个漏喙边的所在，按呢遮尔仔歹体态，莫啦！拜托咧！你嘛著替我排解，阁再共我治疗才应该！”
今这个鱼仔伫咧欢喜囉，叫这个鳖仙著阁继续共治疗。鳖仙已经无法度，气空力尽囉！
因为时间的关碍，
通知列位朋友知，
歌仔伊著到遮咧暂扯摆，
后回咱才阁再来。
各位朋友，恁若听有佮意，这叫做上集，咱后集仝款才阁来。
【歌词英文翻译English Translation】
(Hey, let's go and get on with it!)
Everyone calls me the Tortoise God. I am quite optimistic, but because of some unexpected things, I am now banished into the mortal world to suffer.
Hey, do you all know each other? Everyone calls me the Tortoise God, and I am quite positive and full of curiosity. I am always curious about everything, which is why I got involved in some mess and got banished into the mortal world. Now I am here guarding this pond. Gosh, it really was a big misunderstanding! ('Hey! So, what really happened?') You have no idea. I was a heavenly celestial officer, and really had nothing much to do except wonder around to see the world. One day I heard some sounds of water splashing, and I wondered what it was. I went over to check it out because I was curious. ('OK, you just went over to see what it was all about.') I wanted to find out what was happening, and before I knew it someone was snatching me by the collar! ('What was that all about?') I was accused of being a peeping tom for peeking at a celestial fairy while she was taking a bath! This is absurd! Gosh, I was in deep trouble and didn't know what to do. So, I was accused of being a pervert for watching her while she scrubbed her thighs! Seriously, I was the one that got the short end of the stick! ('Oh! You were peering at someone taking a bath?') Hey, it was a lie, and I had no way of clearing my name! If I did see anything then I wouldn't be feeling so shortchanged, right? I didn't see anything and got banished into the mortal world for no reason at all! And now I am just here guarding this pond. I am in charge of this place, the Hsiangpin Pond. I watch over all the fish here, big and small. Sigh, there is no use talking too much about this. Let's go! Let's go look around.
Hey! Why is there a girl crying over there? What is going on? Wow, let me go check on her. It makes my heart twitch three times when I see girls cry. I feel so bad for her. OK, let me go ask her. Let's go see why she is over there.
'Hey, Miss! May I ask what has happened to you? Why are you looking so down? Please explain to me what has happened to make you feel so distraught? Please tell me why!'
'Sigh, there is no point in telling you. Are you able to fix my problem?'
'Hey, hey, you haven't even told me anything, so how would you know if I am able to help or not? How about you just tell me about it, and I will see what I can do.'
'Ok, sure, if you really want to know then listen up, I will tell you what is going on! '
'Ok, I see, I get it now! Let's see…yes, sure! If a person lets obsession take over her heart, it will be hard to even eat or digest food at all! But that's not the case with you!'
'Then, what is the deal with me?'
'Your inner energy flow is blocked, and it's all stuck down in your lower abdominal area, which is causing your energy flow to be irregular. Since your abdominal area is blocked, you will need to clear out your pressure points!'
'Wow! Do you know how to fix that?'
'Let me try but let me also be clear first. If it works, it means you are a lucky and blessed person, but if it doesn't work, I would then have no other way to help.'
'Fine. Please kind celestial officer, please give it a try if it's not too much trouble for you.'
'Ok, don't mention it. Let me give it a go! I shall give a big push and try to help you with your energy. This will help to clear your energy flow and turn you into a charming, attractive, beautiful young woman!'
I, the Tortoise God, must keep my head straight and quickly get inside that cave by the half cliff. This koi is pretending not to mind because she wants to get a good-looking bod. Alright, I must not make a sound for this to be effective!
Ha, the Tortoise God sure is naughty and is rubbing the koi up and down her chest. All the rubbing has made the koi chuckle and half laugh a little. 'Hey, Tortoise, stop tickling me! Don't fool around like that!' 'No, I am helping to clear out your pressure points. Ticklish? No! Pay attention and concentrate!'
Wow, the Tortoise God sure is very naughty and is purposely rubbing the koi right in the chest. Wow! All that rubbing has made the koi quite excited. If you've ever seen a spinning top then you know what this is all about. As the top spins and spins, sometimes it would suddenly pop up. This is what the koi is feeling right now. 'Hey, kind sir, this feels great!' The koi is feeling pretty good at this moment.
The Tortoise God really knows how to drag things on. He has already spewed out about ten globs of his gunk. At this time, the Koi Nymph keeps praising him, 'Tortoise, you really are quite amazing!' Well, at this point the Tortoise God has used up all his energy and has gone limp and deflated.
Wow! My body has transformed and is looking great! Thank you, Tortoise. You are amazing! Please, let's do it again, again!
'Wow, wow, I can't! Let me take a breather for a second!' 'No, Tortoise, don't stop. If you stop, this matter won't be complete!' 'Well, no, if I can't then I can't! There is just nothing more that I can give!' 'Well, look at me! Look at my great body! But there are two whiskers sticking out from the sides of my mouth. This doesn't look good. Please, please! Please help me fix my problem. We should continue with the treatment!'
Now, the koi is feeling pretty ecstatic and is telling the Tortoise God to keep treating her. The Tortoise God is completely spent and has no more energy in him to give!
Because of the limited time we have today, my dear friends, this song will come to a momentarily end right here. We shall continue next time. If you like what you've heard, remember this is just part one, and part two is to be continued.
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